As we wind down our month of Resolution Solutions, I think it’s important to recognize that it’s not always about what you need “to do” or “to be”. Sometimes it’s about what you don’t do that can help you achieve your goal. Here’s one idea from Sharon Rainey:

I also give myself permission NOT to answer my phone. I light my candle on my desk, put on music (with no words so as not to distract me), close the door, and stay on task until i get it done. Then I move to the next task.
- Sharon Rainey, Neighbors International, www.myneighborsnetwork.com

Sharon’s tip reminds me of an article my sister wrote two years ago on a similar theme. In her piece in the Charlotte Observer, Carolyn goes a step further to encourage you to not be so hard on yourself if you do stumble or even fail to reach your lofty goals for the new year. My sister is a yoga instructor (yes, we couldn’t be more different) and finds inspiration in yoga’s focus on body and mind. Yoga teaches self acceptance - which is often scarce when you think of all the things we set out to achieve even before you pile on New Year’s Resolutions.

Though it’s been a few years, I think the advice is timeless, so I thought I’d share it with y’all as Food for Thought:

*****
Resolve to Forgive Yourself
If you promise yourself to lose weight, don’t let one misstep turn into a tumble.

By Carolyn Klimas, Special to the Charlotte Observer

The challenge in keeping resolutions is not only in keeping them but also in the paralyzing guilt that comes with breaking them. How often do dieters stray from their planned meal and then embrace the logic that says, “Oh, I ruined my diet.” As if one bowl of ice cream has brought down a nation. The disappointment from this lapse can and often does snowball into a continuation of old habits.

My suggestion is to combine one’s resolution with forgiveness. In yoga, we approach the poses with abhyasa and vairagya, which means “best efforts, surrender the results.” Why not keep your resolutions, but also incorporate some kindness in the plan?

First, take pride in your effort. By trying to make changes in your life, you are honoring yourself. That in itself is pretty groovy.

Second, have realistic expectations. Choose goals that you have a possibility of fulfilling. Most of us won’t drop pounds that quickly unless we’re assigned to a tribe on “Survivor.” Apply softness and knowledge of yourself when you make your resolutions.

Lastly, forgive. Chastising yourself will only perpetuate whatever low self-esteem that inspired the resolution in the first place. If you slip up on your diet, forgive yourself and try again at the next meal or snack. If you skipped your spin class, check the schedule to see if there’s another tomorrow. Or take a walk instead.

In yoga, we say each inhale provides a new opportunity, a new moment. This year, why not offer yourself a new kindness with your resolutions?

(Originally published 12/29/05; Charlotte Observer, p 1E)

*****

Alas, my sister’s yoga studio is in NC so I don’t have a personal ticket to a toned body, but I do try to follow her suggestions. Carolyn has an aura of peacefulness and self-acceptance that I aspire to in my day-to-day life. In turbulent times (she’s now testing her limits as she plans her wedding), she can draw on an inner strength that comes when you take pride in who you are instead of starring in the role of your own worst critic. You probably know a person with that sense of calm and confidence in your life. I wonder what his or her New Year’s Resolutions were?

I especially apply this philosophy to how and why Let’s Dish! is a core aspect of my life. It’s not just because I’m a co-owner (though admittedly, that comes with some obvious perks!). Let’s Dish! helps me fulfill my role as a wife, mother, and working woman to the best of my ability. I’m proud that I’ve found a solution that works for me and my family - and have not even an ounce of guilt that somehow I should manage this all on my own.

Well, forgive me for going a little deeper here today that a clutter buster or time-management tip. I hope you will be kind to yourself as you maintain your resolve. And, go ahead, unplug that phone - it is Saturday after all.

p.s. As it turns out, January 26th (yes, today) is also Yoga Day USA, a day where all across the nation folks come together to celebrate the benefits of yoga - I’ll bet (wink! wink!) you had no idea such a day existed! So, if you’re not heading to one of our stores to dish up some meals today, I’m sure Carolyn would like me to mention that it’s a great day to find a yoga studio, especially if you’ve resolved to get fit, lower stress or just find more peace in your life.